More On The Charles Barkley DUI Saga: Tattoos & Blow Job Edition

Just when you thought the Charles Barkley DUI story couldn't get any better, what with the Urkel drinking buddy and all, The Smoking Gun has just released the full report from the Gilbert Police Department.

Here are the highlights:

• I asked if he had been drinking and he said "Yes, I have." I asked how much he had had and he said, "A couple, I could give you a bullshit answer but I didn't."
• When I asked the question "Where were you going?" He told me that he ran the stop sign because he was in a hurry to pick up the girl I saw get in the passenger seat. He asked me to admit that she was "hot." He asked me, "You want the truth?" When I told him I did he said, "I was gonna drive around the corner and get a blow job." He then explained that she had given him a "blow job" one week earlier and said it was the best one he had ever had in his life.
• He told a civilian Gilbert PD employee: "I'll tattoo my name on your ass" if it would help get him out of the DUI. He laughed and then quickly corrected himself and said, "I'll tattoo your name on my ass" and then laughed again.

Ah, that Charles Barkley... entertaining right to the very end.

Barkley: All I Really Wanted Was Oral Sex [TMZ]
Charles Barkley's Oral Statements [Smoking Gun]
Charles Barkley: "I Was Gonna Drive Around The Corner And Get A Blow Job." [Deadspin]

Charles Barkley Is A Dumbass, Gets Nailed for DUI After Partying With Urkel

Charles Barkley is one of my favorite sports personalities. Not only did I enjoy his time with the Phoenix Suns (screw you, John Paxson), but he's also been entertaining in his post-basketball career.

That said, the man is a dumbass. Sure, he was tricked into saying a dumbass, but make no mistake, Charles Barkley is a dumbass.

How else could he think that driving in Scottsdale after having any drinks at all, late at night, would be a good idea? Also, why did he think that partying with Steve Urkel would be a good idea? No good can come of that.

“I am disappointed that I put myself in that situation,” said Barkey. “The Scottsdale police were fantastic. Now it is a legal matter and I will not comment any further as it is a legal matter.”  Feel free to add, "I'm a dumbass!" to the end of that statement.

Arizona has notoriously tough DUI laws & many athletes & celebrities have been caught. So why not get a taxi, Sir Charles?

Barkley did do what most say is the best idea, which is to refuse a breathalyzer and take a blood test instead, but under Arizona law, ANY amount of alcohol can be enough to get you for a DUI if it was shown to have impaired you.

Given Arizona's recent penchant for making DUI offenders "expect the max", Charles Barkley looks like he is in a world of trouble right now.

Barkley comments on Valley DUI  arrest [AZCentral]